PEER PRESSURED?

I had a ten month old infant in my care and he wasn’t making any effort to crawl or move but will patiently wait until I pick him up, a little while later an eight month old infant joined my care and he was already crawling and holding furniture to pull himself up, I could see the older infant looking at him with curiosity and within two weeks of the new infant being in my care the older one started making effort to crawl and not long after started holding on to furniture to pull himself up.

I also had a group of preschooler that had never been in a childcare setting before starting with me and asking them to clean up toys after playing had to be repeated, another preschooler moved from another caregiver to my place and would automatically put things away when done with them but alas after a week of seeing the other kids not doing so he decided to stop. It took some firm effort to get him back on track and getting the other kids to do same.

As a parent or child caregiver you would have noticed that kids copy what they see others do faster than what they are told to do; a great depiction of "monkey see, monkey do"

A study conducted in 1961 by Psychologist Albert Bandura confirmed that children can learn by observing and imitating other's behaviors. Since children act out the behaviours they observe from others through their interactions with other children, the adult world strongly influences the socialization process.

How then do we support our children so they can decipher what to copy from us and their peers?

Teach and practice what is right and explain the why behind decisions. The first learning ground for children is the home before the other places they attend on regular basis so it is imperative that we set a good example at home. Parents are teachers and our role involves knowing how our children learn and meeting that need.

Help them build a healthy self esteem. Parents must learn to avoid talking down or shutting down their children when having conversations. Find ways to acknowledge their presence and efforts even if it does not measure up to your expectations yet, scoring 100 on a test without the mental capacity needed for life will only lead to raising children that cannot cope with the stress of life.

Avoid rescuing them from all challenging situations. It is important to teach them critical thinking skills and how to manuever difficult situations with tenacity. "Let them use their brain" they have it for reason so give them opportunity to use it.

Let them know it's okay to say no when needed. This is tricky because the first place they can practice that from is at home so as parents we must stay calm and let them practice this skill at at home. Establishing a "no rudeness" rule is a must in this case. Feel free to state your mind but it must be done politely and with explanation as to why they are saying no.

Birds of a feather flock together. We must educate our children on the benefit of keeping good comapny at all times, friends have a great impact on each other so they must carefully choose thier friends based on their values and mindset about life and important decisions.

Guide them based on your faith and belief system. As a christian parent I love this Bible verse in Exodus 23:2 that says “You must not follow the crowd in doing wrong". Introducing our faith to our children at an early stage is very helful in guarding them to make wise decisions.

Our children have a great future and a godly heritage. As we parent them through every season of growth please be encouraged that your efforts will not be in vain.

You have been graced to raise your child well.

Olawumi