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When I had my first child in 2003 it did not take long for me to realize that nothing really prepares you fully for that role until you find yourself in it.

The “what to expect when you are pregnant” book did justice to some areas of being a mom but when the pain of labor hits every nerve in your body everything you have learnt flies out the window.

A great support person to remind you of things you have learnt and guide you through that experience then becomes a necessity.

I remember staring at the tiny person in my hands wondering if we will be okay. The good part of the process for me was that I had experienced older women around me for the beginning of that journey.

Fast forward to maternity leave, I spent some time at my parents’ home and on one of the days there I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room and baby was in the bedroom right across from me. I was suddenly awakened by the cry of the baby, I jumped off the couch and rushed into the room to check on her. When I came back to the living room my mum had something to say about my action and how it was not healthy as I could have hurt myself jumping off like that.

She asked what I thought was wrong with baby that made me respond that way.

Sincerely, I felt judged, I felt like she was being harsh on me. I did not understand her reasoning until later in my mommy-baby journey.

When I relocated to Canada, I realized the luxury of having a baby when you have family around to help was a gift most people take for granted. The experience they have to offer can sometimes feel like a critique but when accepted and thought on you will see the reason behind it.

*Letting a baby cry for a while before you pick them up is not a crime.

*Letting your baby snuggle a few more minutes before you put them to bed is not indulging them.

*Letting someone else care for baby so you can catch a nap is needed self-care.

*Feeding yourself while nursing baby or feeding baby formula is not a crime.

*Going back to work or staying home after maternity leave is a personal decision.

First time mothers, please don’t feel judged when someone who has walked this mommy-baby journey gives you advice.

I do agree that sometimes compassion is lacking from the conversation, please take it with a grain of salt and think about the real message and not the attitude of the messenger.

Taking care of a baby is not an easy task but many have walked that road successfully so you too can.

Always remember that you have been graced by God for each stage of the parental journey.

God’s got you girl!


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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I am a woman on a mission to empower parents and children to discover the right strategy and personalized plan for making the lifetime parenting journey a fulfilling one.

I am especially very passionate about raising children in diaspora based on my journey of a decade and plus of living in diaspora and seeing the struggle and pain of adjusting to a new system and culture of parenting.


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